Category: Paradoxes

This one’s for you, Brew. Miss ya dude.

Brewskie Butt Custom Cat Portrait Painting by Artist BZTAT

In December of 2008, a cat started tweeting on Twitter. He tweeted about many things, but his favorite thing to do was tell stories about his human companion, who was an artist. He became the spokescat for his artist companion’s burgeoning arts business, and he also became a worldwide advocate for the Canton Arts District in downtown Canton, OH. He tweeted about his everyday cat adventures, and he tweeted about some, well, shall we say, extraordinary misadventures.

Brewskie Butt First Tweet
@BrewskieButt’s First Tweet

That cat’s stories on Twitter became so beloved, his birthday was celebrated on Twitter in the first official 24 hour #PawPawty. He made many friends around the world in subsequent #PawPawties and other cyber adventures, and he became quite the internet sensation. He launched his human’s art business, and he brought many pet portrait commissions her way.

That cat was Brewskie Butt and his human companion was me. Although his stories in cyberspace were quite fanciful, I assure you, Brewskie Butt the cat was every bit the character that the stories revealed.

Brewskie Butt (AKA The Brew) was a real cat who came to my home in 2004. A friend at work brought him to me after he had been rescued on the side of the road by a school teacher friend of hers. The first night I had him, he stuck his nose into my freshly poured beer and he started drinking, earning his name by rights in an instant.

Brewskie was ornery, obnoxious, pugnacious, nosey and annoying at times. He was also loving, curious, humorous and the biggest presence in the room no matter who was in the room with him. Although he was a huge presence, he also had a way of sharing that presence, making everyone around him feel welcome. 

I am sad to say that Brewskie is not in the room anymore.

Brewskie went to the storied Rainbow Bridge yesterday. He had been suffering from pancreatitis since January of this year, and he declined rapidly over the past week. I cannot tell you how much his presence is missed here in my home.

I really miss that ornery, obnoxious, pugnacious, nosey, annoying, loving, curious, humorous cat who was the biggest presence in the room no matter who was in the room with him.

Brewskie Butt GraveThe Rainbow Bridge for me is in Dellroy, OH. I used to live in a cabin there years ago, and my friend who owns the property allows me to continue burying my pets there. Brew’s body, and spirit, rests next to that of his former nemesis Slick, and those of Bub and the original Beezie.

I am not sure how to move forward without my buddy Brew. He has been such a big part of my life for 13 years. I owe him a lot, because, without his presence, I don’t know if I would have explored the creative depths that I did with him by my side. I know I will come back around, but, for now, I feel pretty lost without him.

I have painted, drawn and digitally mastered many artworks of Brew through the years. I even created a picture book and a coloring book with an artistic character based on him. But I never created a serious portrait of him. I have painted serious portraits of many of his cyber friends, but I have not seriously depicted the huge impact that he has had on my life in an artwork.

So a few days ago, when I realized that the end of our wonderful time together was near, I started painting a Premiere Portrait of Brew. I began painting it at home, with him sitting next to me, then I finished it in my studio today after he was gone. It was both the hardest, and the easiest, painting I have ever painted.

I often paint portraits of pets for people who are going through the experience of losing a pet. I want them to know that, when I paint their pet’s portrait, I feel with them, and I try to translate that love that they feel into the portrait. I have to be authentic with that experience. I know their pain, because I am living it too. It is the sweetest pain, because it is the sweetest love – that human animal bond. 

Anyway, this one is for you Brew. I have loved you with every ounce of my being, even when you were annoying the crap out of me. I miss you dude. Life will never be the same. 

But life is so much grander because of your having been here.

Life is an Adventure!

BZTAT

Many times Brewskie shared this song and video on Twitter with friends to comfort their loss of a beloved pet. I know he has many friends, and I wanted to share this with you to comfort your loss as I deal with my own private sadness.

“Someday we’ll find it, the Rainbow Connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.”

 

There is beauty if you SEE what you see.

Portrait of a black father with his children

I have watched way too much cable news this week. I have seen way too many ugly images.

Two black men splayed out on the ground, mortally wounded by police bullets. Hoards of angry black men taunting police in riot gear, breaking windows and throwing bottles. A clueless white woman proclaiming at a political event, “If you’re black and you haven’t been successful in the last 50 years, it’s your own fault. You’ve had every opportunity, it was given to you.”

I do not wish to overlook the ugliness. It is real, and we cannot dismiss it. Forgive me, though. I need to seek balance. I need to see beauty.

The irony is, I do see beauty around me every day. In my city, I see black and white people meeting the challenge of living together in tough circumstances with beautiful results.

I see black men preparing their children for life in an uneven world with love and courage. I see single mothers carefully packing their strollers and packages together while lovingly tending to their young children on a lurching city bus. I see white and black people helping each other and enjoying each other’s company.

I see people meeting the challenges of poverty, limited opportunity and racial inequity with courage and pride, and that is beautiful to me, despite the ugliness that may predicate each person’s circumstances.

I also see black and white people succeeding together in less challenged neighborhoods than my own. I see people of all races working together in successful careers, and I see artists, musicians, actors and dancers creating together with amazing results.

The beauty is there to see if we SEE what we see.

As a white woman, I cannot pretend to understand the experience of a black man or woman in American society. I cannot imagine what it is like to have your beauty overlooked with regularity, simply because your color is considered ugly by some. I cannot know how it feels to have your strength and character dismissed without a thought because some people presume you are a criminal simply because of your color.

I cannot fathom the despair that comes from knowing that no one listens until anguish turns to anger,  violence and destruction.

I can try, to understand, though. I can listen, and I can seek empathy. I can look for the beauty in each person that I meet, and I can celebrate it.

There is quiet, dignified beauty around us every day, but we ignore it. We seem to only pay attention to ugliness. I abhor violence, but I am beginning to understand why it emerges out of despair. If we allowed beauty to motivate change, the ugly would disappear.

Call me an idealist, but I believe beauty must be a part of our dialog towards change.

I may go unheard. I may go unnoticed. Even so, I want to celebrate the beauty I see. It is there, and it is what matters. I want to elevate it, in the hopes that recognizing beauty will help bring about change.

Will you join me?

Life is an Adventure!

BZTAT

 Contact me if you would like to add a print of the image above to your collection.

Prayer for September 11, 2001

Prayer for September 11, 2001 drawing by BZTATPrayer for September 11, 2001

Dear God,

Today a part of my land

And a part of my people

Was reduced to a cloud of

Smoke, rubble and dust.

As the pain and dust linger,

Please help me to join hands

In peace, not rage,

With other spirits

Who seek to rise above.

 

I wrote this prayer in my journal on September 11, 2001. I created the drawing a couple of months later. It took me awhile to to recover my artistic balance after my world was so seriously shaken that day.

Each year, I post this prayer and drawing here on my blog in hopes that peace will overcome the rage that fills the hearts of many.

I am still hoping.

We always say we will never forget. My hope is that, someday, we will arise as we remember.

Today, 15 years later, I again join hands with kindred spirits. I remain hopeful.

Life is an Adventure!

BZTAT